Sexy Motion to Dismiss

He first saw the model on line and in a promotional brochure (para. 13-15)…. Her glossy exterior, sculpted body, sophistication, bloodlines, not to mention the accolades of how she could perform, intrigued him, piqued his curiosity (para. 13-15; Exs A. and B. to second amended complaint). Needless to say, he needed to know more, meet her, ride her. He was excited (para. 22).

Suitable arrangements were made. Not wanting to push her too fast, he rode her easy (para. 36, 37). With her prominent front pushed up, her rear somewhat down, her performance was somewhat hesitant and resistant. But he was told she was a maiden, that he’d be her first owner (para. 40, 47)

It goes on. Above the Law provides the entire motion. Is this funny? Is it good legal writing to draw the judge’s attention to the argument? Or is it just plain unnecessary? To me, he fit the motion into his joke as opposed to a joke that flowed with the motion to underscore his point. The point could be made in about 10 words just as effectively. And it is just not that funny unless a sex reference in a motion automatically makes it funny.

But, going back to fitting a motion into a joke, is this really a point the defense lawyer wants to make? He’s underscoring the plaintiff”s disappointment. That’s not an important part of Defendant’s motion to dismiss.

It goes back to the point I made last week and the point I made the week before. Pre-planned jokes from judges (in written opinions) and lawyers are typically awful.